GIVING IN TO TEMPTATION and BARKING AT BOVINES

“Your characterization of me as a dog, as a BORDER COLLIE, with poor manners is a bit upsetting…that photo is inappropriate.”

“Which photo are you referring to, the chewed container or the warm turkey breast in the back of the Scion xB with you?”

“Mmmmmmph…they were both taken by you today…the event is over…the event was, like, five or six days ago…you discussed this problem with me already…this is inappropriate material for the blog -MY BLOG-  I might add…I realized I made a mistake dragging the warm turkey breast into the back of the xB…”

“You did a bit more than just drag it into the back of the Scion, and I know, you were apologetic about your actions.”

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Warm, savory, juicy…aromatherapy for dogs…mouth-watering, too, and very tasty!

My Dad and I were out and about last Saturday, and one of our stops was Sunset Foods for some groceries.  And while I will use the photos My Dad took today, I am using these only so that all of my loyal and faithful readers will understand that this event took place on SATURDAY – some six days ago!  For some reason, My Dad feels that my poorly thought out decision to crawl up into the front seat of the xB and  g-e-n-t-l-y  pick up the cooked, juicy ROTISSERIE turkey breast and bring to the back of the Scion requires a full disclosure – must be the investigator in him.  I am referring to this as a re-creation of the actual event – gently pick up the Sunset Foods plastic bag holding the savory, aroma-therapy of the juicy, warm turkey breast, remove the warm plastic container from the plastic bag, chew and pry the clear plastic top from the container and….VOILA!…a delicious, mouth-watering turkey breast.  And I was able to chew off and consume four corners before My Dad returned from his shopping foray at Target, or as he likes to say, “TARJHAY.”  I say, WOOF!  That turkey breast was DELICIOUS!

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This is only a re-creation…makes My Dad feel better…

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While this is the ACTUAL container I broke into, this event took place some six days ago.  The benefit for me was turkey breast mixed into my regular IAMS Natural meal.

“Don’t forget the barking-at-the-cows story.”

“Well, finally, another story that is a bit more appropriate for MY blog.”

We drive through Glenview, Illinois several times a week…My Dad used to live here…and we pass by Wagner Farms located at the northwest corner of Lake Street and Wagner Road.  Part of the allure of Wagner Farms is that it is a  working (allegedly) dairy farm – WITH COWS.  The cows stand around, watch the cars go by, the cows are moronic.  They do not have any herding dogs, of any kind, running around Wagner Farms to keep these cows, these cud-chewing bovines, in line and alert.  So as part of my never-ending job as a Border collie, a very serious herding dog, I bark-bark-bark-bark at these simpletonians, these slobbering, burbling, bovines.  I can see their ears twitch and they look around – “….uhhh…where is the Border collie….?”  Very satisfying to get that reaction.  Time for a nap.  I played with Kaya and Erin today.  Later…….MAGIC.

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MISSION TO DOWNTOWN and PUDDLES OF VOMIT

“I’m taking the train downtown this morning, will you be alright for about three hours?”

“Mmmm…not really…why don’t you bring me with?”

“Traffic will be a pain, taking the train downtown will be more relaxing, I will be back by 12:30.”

“Hah!  That is not three hours, that is more like four hours and 34 minutes.  OK, I will entertain myself, can you leave your gloves on the table, or a hat?”

“Blackmailed by a Border collie…is that how it’s going to be?  My gloves and my hats are already displaying Border collie damage…divots, gouges, nicks, pieces of fabric missing, fingers missing…”

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My Dad taught me how to remove his hat from his head…some unfortunate damages have occurred as a direct result of my quick learning abilities.

“Oh, c’mon…we’ll drive together…we can go for a walk downtown…I know you love to show me off…right?”

Easy stuff for a determined Border collie…pushing My Dad around, manipulating him, he is so ruminant-like, at times.  Yes, we are going bye-bye in the Scion xB to downtown Chicago on a “mission.”  And the traffic on the Kennedy Expressway was just fine – I love sticking my head out the window at a leisurely 17 miles per hour…sometimes 2 miles per hour.

After My Dad had successfully completed his mission, serving a court summons on a very cooperative Registered Agent, he returned to the Scion xB on the 7th floor of the parking structure.  I am still getting comfortable with elevators.  While I will no longer hesitate to board an elevator, once I am inside, I have a tendency to spread my legs and drop into a crouch – I feel a bit more steady on my feet this way.

My Dad told me that the prior weekend, the City of Chicago had dyed the Chicago River GREEN (as if it was not green enough) for St. Patrick’s day (My Dad’s birthday) and this event coupled with the Saint Patrick’s Day parade encourages a lot of humans to drink a lot of alcohol…and this results in numerous puddles of VOMIT – EVERYWHERE.  While these puddles were interesting for a Border collie, especially the pink puddles and orange puddles, My Dad kept telling “NO” in his very calm voice, and I listen VERY well!

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Wacker Drive with a view to the east…and no puddles of yucchy stuff to be seen!

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The Marina Towers “corncob,” and the curved glass of the Trump Tower in the background.  No, those people behind me were not throwing-up.

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Jumping into a raised flower bed is very easy for a Border collie.

By the way, I have a large number of canine friends who visit frequently.  I am not food-aggressive, so when my canine friends visit, I will watch them have a meal at my place.

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Brandy (a/k/a Demonic Schizoid) after enjoying MY breakfast…I just watch, why cause an argument?

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Coco and Loli visited last night.  Their Mom was out of town.  Coco is a Border collie wannabe, she runs next to me outside and barks whenever I bark.  They are official members of the Magic Fan Club.

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And, meet LOLA (Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo-La, from the song by the Kinks), she is an eight month old Shiba-Inu, who has just joined the Magic Fan Club.  Nice ears, YOU BABY!

THE ELEGANCE OF HERDING DOGS and THE GRIM REAPER VISITS SQUIRREL-TOWN

“We are leaving in the car in an hour, will you be ready?”

“Remember Maisie, that Border collie you saw in National Geographic Your Shot?  She sent me some pictures.  I’m writing about the handsomeness and beauty of herding dogs…yes, I will be done here within the hour…maybe we can visit Maisie…”

“You better include your buddy Patrick on this post, and don’t refer to him as the Cattle Collie, anymore…he did not like that.  And as long as I’m thinking about it, don’t forget to mention your sudden success with squirrels…the corpses are starting to add up.”

“Mmmmm…good point about Patrick…I’ll start with him…”

My good friend Patrick lives in Shannondale, and I refer to him as Patrick of Shannondale.  IT’S A JOKE, PATRICK!  My Dad thinks you are very handsome and I’ve got to tell you, I owe you an apology.  Your Mom sent me a picture of your sister (I’d like to know her a little better) and your Mom sitting together in the Sheriff’s Prison Transport (just kidding) and without a doubt, your mom is an Australian Cattle Dog, and quite beautiful, too.

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Patrick’s gorgeous mother is on the right and his sister is on the left.  (Photo courtesy of State Prisoner Transport System)

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And, as all of my loyal readers are aware, this is my good friend and play-fighter, Patrick of Shannondale.  He certainly looks like his sister…compliment Patrick!  (Photo courtesy of Home for Deranged Cattle Dogs)

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This is my mentor and renowned Therapy Dog, Cody of Lenox (RIP 01-08-2015).  Cody was well known for his fabulous ticking, split-face, and endearing disposition.

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And, speaking of ticking, GORGEOUS ticking, this is the beautiful Maisie, recently observed in National Geographic Your Shot.  Photo used with permission of Maisie’s Mom, Tiehrra Alexander.  I’m hoping to get a play-date with Maisie!

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Maisie smiling…look at those golden eyes!

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And…Maisie after running through the mud…

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This is Maisie’s house-mate, Porter.  Porter is 7 months old.  Nice ears, YOU BABY!

“We’ll be leaving soon, wrap it up, Magic!  Don’t forget about the squirrels…”

HA!  It has taken me over a year to catch a squirrel…I was always overplaying my moves…too quick, too straight, too reactive.  But, that changed last week…patience, pursuing a bit slower, and not reacting to their little deke-out moves, their trickery, their sense of superiority.  They are actually idiots, they wait too long to make their break for freedom, they get a bit too choosy in which tree to climb, or they choose one tree and just as they get there, they change their mind.  Three squirrels, two last week, and one yesterday (who did not die very pretty).  Pretty simple stuff…grab ’em, puncture ’em, crunch ’em, shake ’em.  Time to go.  Thanks, Maisie, for the great pictures.  I think I’m in love.  -Magic

 

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

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Did Dr. Preiser make any comments about my handsomeness?

“How did you find out that my birthday is today?”

“Why can’t you just go with the flow…like you usually do..why are you over-thinking this?”

“I’m a rescue, picked up as a stray…right?  What…did you drive down to Quincy, Illinois and find my parents…snoop around the truck stop where I was found?  That would make you a pretty good investigator…”

“We guessed…your birthday was assigned by what Dr. Preiser saw when she examined you…remember, the week after you were adopted, remember being fostered at Kathy’s house? Remember Cody and I picked you up at Kathy’s house”?

“Duh…of course I remember, Border collies remember everything…and my date of birth was determined how?”

“Dr. Preiser said you were 8-10 months old…max…based on your brilliant white teeth, your weight, your demeanor.  Dr. Preiser said you were just a baby.  So, we did a little math and came up with a birthday of February 8th, 2014.  And that makes you TWO years old, today.”

“What did my weight have to do with my age?”

“That is the simple part of the guesswork.  When you were picked up in Quincy you were only 33 pounds.  And Dr. Preiser said you didn’t have much muscle…even Kathy said you needed to build some muscle.  During you weigh-ins at the vet in August, September, and October, your weight was right around 55 pounds.  A couple of weeks ago, you were 61 pounds, I don’t know where you are putting the weight.  I know you been getting a lot of exercise with all of your girlfriends – Kaya, Sophie, Erin, and Olive.”

“Can we go the woods again today, I had a great time yesterday…I like being off-leash in the woods.  What was the name of that park?  I really had fun chasing the Canada geese into the river.”

“White Pines State Park…and you were VERY good with every command I gave you – EVERY TIME – you really pay attention…GOOD BOY!”

“Thanks, but Border collies know how to pay attention.”

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THE CANINE THERAPIST FOR CANINES and THE TOY COLLECTOR

My Dad poured some old cereal outside today and the squirrels were there within…

“What?  Well, the squirrels eating the cereal happened a few minutes ago.  No, I don’t believe I need a new title…  Yes, yes, yes, I’ll get to my skills as a canine-therapist…yes, I will not forget to mention what happened at Patrick’s house.  Isn’t there a National Geographic that needs to be read?”

My Dad is always sticking his nose in when I start posting to MY blog…mmmph.  Well, anyway, I sat by the slider today watching the devil-may-care antics of six, maybe seven, squirrels, who were all jostling and positioning and arguing over which of them was going to sit on a pile of cereal My Dad had poured on the grass.  A mere seven feet separates me from my furry tormentors; their tails twitching, all hunched up as they chow-down on the cereal.  Last week by the dumpster, I out-smarted one of the garbage raiders…he chose the wrong exit point just as I was coming around the southwest corner of the trash enclosure.  I had him in my front paws, like trying to juggle…..a moving squirrel!  My Dad said that my squirrel catching efforts reminded him of Devil Sticks (see image).

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Devil Sticks.  Think of my paws as the handheld sticks and the third stick as the squirrel.  Well, that’s what My Dad saw

My Dad keeps asking me,

“And what would you do if you caught a squirrel, is that really your goal, or, you just like to scare them?”

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“Open the slider  s-l-o-w-l-y   so I can get a better view…”

 

My Dad continues to be amazed and flabbergasted at my ability to size up dogs, male and female, engage in some subtle communication, and have them playing with me within five minutes.  Although, I’ll have to admit, that getting the girls to play with me is pretty easy.  Crabby dogs, aggressive dogs, shy dogs, and dogs with self-esteem issues are no match for me.  A few pushes with my nose, backwards hopping, butt-up, head tilts and just ignoring them works the magic.  If I haven’t convinced them within 5 minutes, or so, I sit down with my back to them – they can’t stand it.  One Shi-Tsu, I met last month, whose name shall remain CONFIDENTIAL, was very yappy and snarly with me.  So, I ignored him.  Within minutes, while I was enjoying a chewy, he climbed on my back and started some suggestive movements – over and over and over – for the next hour.  Next time I looked at him he was taking a nap, go figure!  My Dad told me that Shi-Tsu was Chinese for moron…I’ll have to Google that.

Oh yes, I was a Patrick’s for a post-Thanksgiving dinner.  Patrick and I are good friends but throw another canine into the mix and he becomes MR. BOSSMAN…a character flaw I must stay alert to.  But Patrick does have a lot of toys and chew toys and I enjoyed rounding up those toys on the couch where I was relaxing.

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The Toy Collector at work

And some sad news…my dog-friend Bob, the Shar-Pei, was walking with his mom, Mary (I like her a lot!), one morning, and he was attacked by an Akita who had pulled away from his owner.  Bob was mortally wounded and was euthanized at the vet.

But, some good news also.  Mary adopted a young Shar-Pei, last week. He is from Texas and barks with a  d-r-a-w-l.  He is an “open-carry” guy.  He has had a tough beginning to his life and he can prove it – HE HAS ONLY THREE LEGS.  I stopped by his new forever home two days after his arrival.  He is a nice guy and we became friends immediately, go figure!

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My new friend, BEAR.  He is a Tripawd.  He is EXTREMELY sweet.

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Showing BEAR that I trust him.  He barks with a d-r-a-w-l…he is from Houston, TX.  BEAR said something about starting his own blog, http://www.adognamedbear.com

 

 

 

SEAGULL HARASSMENT -and- ICE CREAM AT TILLAMOOK

I still find it hard to believe that My Dad unhooks me at the beach.  JOY!  HAPPINESS!  SPRINTING!  RUNNING!  MAKING FRIENDS!  AND CHASING SEAGULLS!

FREEDOM!   JOY!  OFF-LEASH!

FREEDOM! JOY! OFF-LEASH!

I met a tall lanky four year old female yesterday afternoon.  Her name was Ella….after a few moments of introduction, we took both took off on some high-speed circuits of the beach.  I can run full speed and still tuck my butt in.  I was a bit faster than her.  Two other dogs inserted themselves into our chase-me, chase-you games.  I had to apply FULL brakes to avoid a collision…my skid marks were three feet long!

I'm giving the seagulls a respite.

I’m giving the seagulls a respite.

Ella was GREAT at chase-me, chase-you pursuit games!

Ella was GREAT at chase-me, chase-you pursuit games!

Finishing up the Tillamook Ice Cream...my eyes are closed for a reason...yummmmm...

Finishing up the Tillamook Ice Cream…my eyes are closed for a reason…yummmmm…

Ella asked me if I was a model for Modern Dog magazine

Ella asked me if I was a model for Modern Dog magazine

I am an active participant when we go bye-bye-in the car.

I am an active participant when we go bye-bye-in the car.

CANNON BEACH, HERE WE COME! and FEEDING THE DEMONIC SCHIZOID

Nebraska, Wyoming, Idaho, Oregon...doesn't look that far on the map...

Nebraska, Wyoming, Idaho, Oregon…doesn’t look that far on the map…”Where’s Nebraska?”

“Where’s Nebraska?”

“You’re looking at the map…you have it open to Nebraska…”

“Why are we stopping in Scottsbluff…why don’t we just drive right to the beach…we ARE going to a beach, aren’t we?”

“We have three nights in Scottsbluff because I am teaching at soccer referee clinics for an AYSO region. Don’t worry, you’ll have your own bed…”

“When do we get to the beach…you said the Pacific Ocean, mountains, rain forests, sea gulls to chase, cool temperatures, bye-bye in the car, when do we get there?”

“We are meeting Mary at PDX on Friday morning, we’ll be at the beach Friday afternoon.”

“This is an OFF-LEASH beach…right?  You keep telling me I will be OFF-LEASH…”

“Yes, yes, yes…an adventure of a lifetime for a young Border collie.  And from Scottsbluff to Portland, we are taking US Route 26, through the Rocky Mountains, small towns, National Forests.  You will see Wyoming, Idaho and Oregon.  Believe me, you will LOVE this trip!”

“I’m going to miss my dog friends…Brandy, Ellie, Sophie, Olive…”

“Sorta funny that all your friends are female…just sayin’ and you let them eat your food while you just watch…you certainly are the Romeo…don’t forget to tell your followers they can follow our trip on your blog…”

“Hey, all my faithful and loyal followers…follow my trip to Oregon on my blog!”

Brandy was over the other day, she asked if she could eat my food.

Brandy was over the other day, she asked if she could eat my food…she didn’t wait for an answer…

...and then she eats the rest of my food...it better to just watch it happen...I always want to stay on her good side, right Demonic Schizoid?

…and then she eats the rest of my food…it is better to just watch it happen…I always want to stay on her good side, right Demonic Schizoid?

QUESTIONNAIRE FROM BORDER COLLIE BEHAVIORAL CONTROL INSTITUTE (BCBCI)

Play-fighting with BOB...I am his first dog friend.

Play-fighting with BOB…I am his first dog friend.

“Magic, you have an email, looks important…”

“What…something about my $23 million  inheritance from Nigerian relatives, and I am required to pay a $1,000 transfer fee?”

“Ha!  I can tell you are on my laptop WAY too much.  Wait, you don’t respond to those scam emails…do you?”

“Mmmm…sort of, I tell them I will meet them at the airport in Lagos, give them the tail number of my Gulfstream IV, and that I will be arriving with my security force of 12 former special forces dudes…they never get back me…what a shock…so just what is this important email?

“They want you to answer some questions, looks sort of personal, something from the BCBCI. looks VERY official.”

“Yawn…OK…why don’t you wash the Scion xB, or play Scrabble, or something…let me take care of my own affairs…mmm…let me see…”

BORDER COLLIE BEHAVIORAL CONTROL INSTITUTE

COWLEY ROAD, CAMBRIDGE CB4OWS, UNITED KINGDOM

Dear Mr. Magic, 

As you are well aware, ALL Border collies are required to submit to an annual behavioral review.  The required form is attached and should be reviewed with ALL questions answered by midnight, 15 July 2015.  Thank you for your anticipated cooperation.

Please provide information on your relationship with other canines, including Border collies:

I get along with everyone.  My main girlfriends are Kaya, Brandy, and Coco.  Siri is a female Border collie and I am in negotiations with her for play fighting that is a bit more aggressive.  Coco is a small Maltese and I will lay down next to her so we can play.  She allows me to nibble on her legs.  Bob, a Shar-Pei, is another good friend.  I am his first dog friend.

Please provide information on fears, anxieties, and unusual behaviors on your part:

I am not afraid of thunder.  I am not afraid of fireworks. I am not afraid of any dogs…I stand my ground.  I enioy going with My Dad in the Scion xB.  My Dad always has water for me in the car and we frequently stop for hamburgers.  I have some concerns about sewer grates, manhole covers, and drainage openings…I am very careful when walking around them.

Please provide information on your favorite chew toys:

My Dad’s sunglasses are a favorite.  Bully sticks, any squeaky toys, My Dad’s shoes, watches, Sheepdog caps, his soccer referee red and yellow cards, his Samsung cell phone, anything from the recycling bin, especially Dasani water bottles. Anything that is within reach in the front seat or on the dashboard of the Scion xB

Please provide information on your current jobs that DO NOT relate to herding of animals:

I am a Therapy Dog in-training, blogging, providing play-fighting and pursuit game tactics to any canine who will listen, providing Private Detective security.

Please provide information on your relationship with moving motor vehicles:

When I was adopted in December, I really enjoyed LUNGING at passing cars. With careful and thoughtful guidance from My Dad, I have suppressed that urge (unless I am showing off to my canine friends).  My Dad wants you to know that I do not care about FedEx, UPS, or U.S. Mail trucks and that I do not bark in the car…and why is that important?  OK, OK, I will get back to work…

Please provide information on your obedience inclinations:

My Dad and I are always working on something different.  I am VERY good at SIT, SHAKE, DOWN, UP, and minding my own business, especially when strangers and other canines walk by.  The humans passing by always make comments about my good behavior (and how good-looking and handsome I am).  Last week, I finally realized that a Frisbee will not hurt me and My Dad is very happy when I catch the Frisbee.

Please provide your current weight AND your weight when you moved into your current residence:

I was a skinny guy when My Dad adopted me from Great Lakes Border Collie Rescue in early December of 2014, around 33 pounds.  My Dad had me weighed at the vet, last week.  I was 58.2 pounds.  My Dad keeps asking me where I am putting the weight.

Please provide your age:

When the vet examined me in December 2014, she thought I was just a baby, 8 to 12 months old.  My Dad gave me a birthday of February 8th, 2014.  I have VERY white teeth.

Please provide the circumstances of your current living situation:

I live with My Dad, I sleep wherever I want, I get 5 or 6 long walks every day, I get off-leash play with my main girlfriend, Kaya, almost every day, and I go for a lot of rides in the car.

Coco and Lolly are two of my very good friends.  I will lay down to play with them.

Coco and Lolly (foreground) are two of my very good friends. I will lay down to play with them.

On assignment with My Dad.  Nice ears, don't you think?

On assignment with My Dad. Nice ears, don’t you think?

All squeaky toys have their squeakers removed, usually through a small hole in the belly...surgical precision.

All squeaky toys have their squeakers removed, usually through a small hole in the belly…surgical precision.

Coco finds me irresistible, she is always escaping from home and running to my place.

Coco finds me irresistible, she is always escaping from home and running to my place.

FORWARD OPERATING BASE QUAGMIRE and TESTING BRANDY’S LIMITS

Playing in the mud is GREAT fun, until I get hosed off.

Playing in the mud is GREAT fun, until I get hosed off.

Yawn….why up so early?  Yawn…its only 4:15!  I just gave My Dad the Border collie has a question look.  Do you know that look?  A slight head tilt, listening intently…  You’re driving your sister, Mary, her daughter and friend to the airport?  OK, let’s go for a walk and I am ready to go…I LOVE going in the car.  What?  I’m not going?  Mmmmmmph…  No room in the Scion xB this morning…luggage, three passengers.  Wait, I have an idea!  I’ll sit in between Gina and Dan, there is enough room for a slender 51 pound Border collie…right?  Mmmmmph.  Can you leave the office door open, I’m going to post on the blog?  No, I won’t chew on anything.  Yes, fine, sounds like a plan…yes, ok, ok, yes…I am going to write about the Dog Park.  Don’t forget to mention…what?  The mud?  OK…

Have any of you, my loyal readers, ever been sprayed down with a garden hose…with cold water…on a chilly day?  Three times?  Mmm…well, yes, there is more to the story.  On Thursday, My Dad took me to the Dog Park.  Sunny, mid 50’s, a slight breeze.  We stayed a pretty long time and I played with about 15 different dogs.  I noticed this muddy puddle, large enough to three or four dogs to relax in.  I was experimenting…running through this muddy puddle over and over and over.  I could hear My Dad calling to me – ‘get out of there, get out of there” – but when I am having fun at the Dog Park, I am off on another planet.  As all of you, my loyal followers, know, I am an EXPERT at enticing my fellow canines to play.  I will push you with my nose, get into the LET’S PLAY position, push you with my nose and run away, steal your ball and run away, and if you are not getting the message, I will be VERY persistent.  I found the quagmire very interesting, especially the way My Dad kept calling to me to STOP playing in the mud.  I started running to the quagmire after enticing another dog to play.  One dog in particular, a reddish Labrador female, also found the quagmire to be a great location from which to launch surprise attacks and engage in prolonged play-fighting.  During our chase-me, chase-you pursuit games, the quagmire became our base of operations; on every circuit we would run through the mud.  I would crouch in the mud, get into my “stalking wolf” position and the Labrador would slowly stalk me, this was GREAT fun!

Our play-fighting base of operations.

Our play-fighting base of operations.

Why was the quagmire so interesting?  Well, it did smell really good!

Why was the quagmire so interesting? Well, it did smell really good!

And now for part of the Dog Park, that I was not too happy with – the wash-down area.  This is a large gravel pad that has a plastic child-pool and a hose.  My Dad sprayed me off and then we went off on some more walking around the Dog Park so I could air-dry.  Did I forget about the quagmire?  Nope.  Some new dogs arrived and I went right back to the quagmire, assumed the stalking-wolf position and very soon I was all muddy again.  Before we left, I paid another visit to the wash pad followed by a leash walk around the dog park, just to dry off.  When My Dad and I arrived home, I was given ANOTHER bath, outside, the cold hose, soap, and a lot of towels.

And Brandy and I had some tussle-time, yesterday.  Brandy loves me…she lets me climb on her, kiss her ears, and bite her neck.

Tussling with Brandy.

Tussling with Brandy.

"Brandy, get that tongue back in your mouth!"

“Brandy, get that tongue back in your mouth!”

My Dad bought me a new collar.

My Dad bought me a new collar.

EXPLORING DOWNTOWN CHICAGO and THE SHAR-PEI EXPERIMENT (IF YOU CATCH ME, YOU CAN BITE ME)

The warm sun on my black fur, the smells of the city, a stroll through Grant Park...life is good.

The warm sun on my black fur, the smells of the city, a stroll through Grant Park…life is good.

Why can’t they drive in their own car?  Mmmmmmph.  I have just been informed by My Dad that I may be a bit cramped in the Scion xB this morning.  Seems My Dad, the wizard that he is, has volunteered to transport his sister, his niece, and his daughter to downtown Chicago…something about a half-marathon embarking from Diversey harbor.  What!?  There is a long walk involved?  With me?  Whew, for a moment I became concerned that, perhaps, the world stopped revolving around me and making me, The Magic Man, happy and mentally stimulated.  OK, I’m IN!  And the area behind the rear seat does have ample room to accommodate a slender Border collie…temporarily…but I would rather have my head out the window enjoying the smells of the city. OK, this calls for some sacrifice, but an adventure awaits!

Do I look like a happy Border collie?  With My Dad and his sister, Mary, in Grant Park.

Do I look like a happy Border collie? With My Dad and his sister, Mary, in Grant Park.

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Waiting for My Dad, outside of the Congress Hotel on Michigan Avenue.  He was using “the facilities.”

We walked by Federal Building twice.  They had these very nice planters with boxwood shrubs, it was very easy for a young Border collie to jump up into the planters to leave messages on the boxwoods.

We walked by Federal Building twice. They had these very nice planters with boxwood shrubs, and I found it extremely easy to lauch myself up into the planters to leave messages on the boxwoods.

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It was another cramped ride on the way home.  I couldn’t stick my head out the window.  Suddenly, I was a part of the conversation.

“Do you want to meet, Bob?”

Seems Bob is an older Shar-Pei (Chinese Fighting Dog) who has always been aggressive with other dogs.  My Dad thought that with my “magical powers of friendship.”  I would be able to convince Bob that I was a friend…not to mention my very high level of maneuverability and speed.  When we arrived at Mary’s, Bob was released from his dungeon (just kidding), and I was released from the Scion xB.  Bob ran right at me while emitting a deep growl…I am thinking, “this will be fun.”

Shar Pei trying to out maneuver the Border collie...ain't happening, dude!

Shar Pei trying to out-maneuver the Border collie…ain’t happening, dude!

A deke left, a deke right, and color me gone.  Bob could not keep up with me…I ran a tight circuit, checked my “six” every couple of seconds…I would let Bob close to within inches of me then push the afterburners FULL forward.  After five minutes, Bob was running out of gas.  He made some more attempts to run at me with his mouth open…I didn’t see any teeth…and with a half step to the left or right, I always placed Bob a little out of position.  I am all about fun, so when Bob had to take a “mark” break, I moved in for some push-and-sniff action on his back and ears…I even told him, “Hey, Bob, I just want to play, I won’t hurt you.”  And he settled down…within minutes, we were buddies, just hangin’ out together.  Bob’s Mom, Mary, was VERY surprised that we became friends so quickly!

Some "push-and-sniff" action showed Bob that I was a friend, that I did not want to hurt him.

Some “push-and-sniff” action showed Bob that I was a friend, that I did not want to hurt him.

Post pursuit and deke out session.  Bob said, "No way I can catch you, man.  Let's be friends."

Post pursuit and deke out session. Bob said, “No way I can catch you, man. Let’s be friends.”

Shar-Pei's have a tough guy persona, but a man's got to know his limitations.

Shar-Pei’s have a tough-guy persona, but a man’s got to know his limitations.

My Dad always carries a bottle of water in the Scion xB...always refreshing after a "chase-me, chase-you" session!

My Dad always carries a bottle of water in the Scion xB…always refreshing after a “chase-me, chase-you” session!