GIVING IN TO TEMPTATION and BARKING AT BOVINES

“Your characterization of me as a dog, as a BORDER COLLIE, with poor manners is a bit upsetting…that photo is inappropriate.”

“Which photo are you referring to, the chewed container or the warm turkey breast in the back of the Scion xB with you?”

“Mmmmmmph…they were both taken by you today…the event is over…the event was, like, five or six days ago…you discussed this problem with me already…this is inappropriate material for the blog -MY BLOG-  I might add…I realized I made a mistake dragging the warm turkey breast into the back of the xB…”

“You did a bit more than just drag it into the back of the Scion, and I know, you were apologetic about your actions.”

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Warm, savory, juicy…aromatherapy for dogs…mouth-watering, too, and very tasty!

My Dad and I were out and about last Saturday, and one of our stops was Sunset Foods for some groceries.  And while I will use the photos My Dad took today, I am using these only so that all of my loyal and faithful readers will understand that this event took place on SATURDAY – some six days ago!  For some reason, My Dad feels that my poorly thought out decision to crawl up into the front seat of the xB and  g-e-n-t-l-y  pick up the cooked, juicy ROTISSERIE turkey breast and bring to the back of the Scion requires a full disclosure – must be the investigator in him.  I am referring to this as a re-creation of the actual event – gently pick up the Sunset Foods plastic bag holding the savory, aroma-therapy of the juicy, warm turkey breast, remove the warm plastic container from the plastic bag, chew and pry the clear plastic top from the container and….VOILA!…a delicious, mouth-watering turkey breast.  And I was able to chew off and consume four corners before My Dad returned from his shopping foray at Target, or as he likes to say, “TARJHAY.”  I say, WOOF!  That turkey breast was DELICIOUS!

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This is only a re-creation…makes My Dad feel better…

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While this is the ACTUAL container I broke into, this event took place some six days ago.  The benefit for me was turkey breast mixed into my regular IAMS Natural meal.

“Don’t forget the barking-at-the-cows story.”

“Well, finally, another story that is a bit more appropriate for MY blog.”

We drive through Glenview, Illinois several times a week…My Dad used to live here…and we pass by Wagner Farms located at the northwest corner of Lake Street and Wagner Road.  Part of the allure of Wagner Farms is that it is a  working (allegedly) dairy farm – WITH COWS.  The cows stand around, watch the cars go by, the cows are moronic.  They do not have any herding dogs, of any kind, running around Wagner Farms to keep these cows, these cud-chewing bovines, in line and alert.  So as part of my never-ending job as a Border collie, a very serious herding dog, I bark-bark-bark-bark at these simpletonians, these slobbering, burbling, bovines.  I can see their ears twitch and they look around – “….uhhh…where is the Border collie….?”  Very satisfying to get that reaction.  Time for a nap.  I played with Kaya and Erin today.  Later…….MAGIC.

THE ELEGANCE OF HERDING DOGS and THE GRIM REAPER VISITS SQUIRREL-TOWN

“We are leaving in the car in an hour, will you be ready?”

“Remember Maisie, that Border collie you saw in National Geographic Your Shot?  She sent me some pictures.  I’m writing about the handsomeness and beauty of herding dogs…yes, I will be done here within the hour…maybe we can visit Maisie…”

“You better include your buddy Patrick on this post, and don’t refer to him as the Cattle Collie, anymore…he did not like that.  And as long as I’m thinking about it, don’t forget to mention your sudden success with squirrels…the corpses are starting to add up.”

“Mmmmm…good point about Patrick…I’ll start with him…”

My good friend Patrick lives in Shannondale, and I refer to him as Patrick of Shannondale.  IT’S A JOKE, PATRICK!  My Dad thinks you are very handsome and I’ve got to tell you, I owe you an apology.  Your Mom sent me a picture of your sister (I’d like to know her a little better) and your Mom sitting together in the Sheriff’s Prison Transport (just kidding) and without a doubt, your mom is an Australian Cattle Dog, and quite beautiful, too.

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Patrick’s gorgeous mother is on the right and his sister is on the left.  (Photo courtesy of State Prisoner Transport System)

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And, as all of my loyal readers are aware, this is my good friend and play-fighter, Patrick of Shannondale.  He certainly looks like his sister…compliment Patrick!  (Photo courtesy of Home for Deranged Cattle Dogs)

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This is my mentor and renowned Therapy Dog, Cody of Lenox (RIP 01-08-2015).  Cody was well known for his fabulous ticking, split-face, and endearing disposition.

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And, speaking of ticking, GORGEOUS ticking, this is the beautiful Maisie, recently observed in National Geographic Your Shot.  Photo used with permission of Maisie’s Mom, Tiehrra Alexander.  I’m hoping to get a play-date with Maisie!

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Maisie smiling…look at those golden eyes!

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And…Maisie after running through the mud…

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This is Maisie’s house-mate, Porter.  Porter is 7 months old.  Nice ears, YOU BABY!

“We’ll be leaving soon, wrap it up, Magic!  Don’t forget about the squirrels…”

HA!  It has taken me over a year to catch a squirrel…I was always overplaying my moves…too quick, too straight, too reactive.  But, that changed last week…patience, pursuing a bit slower, and not reacting to their little deke-out moves, their trickery, their sense of superiority.  They are actually idiots, they wait too long to make their break for freedom, they get a bit too choosy in which tree to climb, or they choose one tree and just as they get there, they change their mind.  Three squirrels, two last week, and one yesterday (who did not die very pretty).  Pretty simple stuff…grab ’em, puncture ’em, crunch ’em, shake ’em.  Time to go.  Thanks, Maisie, for the great pictures.  I think I’m in love.  -Magic

 

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

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Did Dr. Preiser make any comments about my handsomeness?

“How did you find out that my birthday is today?”

“Why can’t you just go with the flow…like you usually do..why are you over-thinking this?”

“I’m a rescue, picked up as a stray…right?  What…did you drive down to Quincy, Illinois and find my parents…snoop around the truck stop where I was found?  That would make you a pretty good investigator…”

“We guessed…your birthday was assigned by what Dr. Preiser saw when she examined you…remember, the week after you were adopted, remember being fostered at Kathy’s house? Remember Cody and I picked you up at Kathy’s house”?

“Duh…of course I remember, Border collies remember everything…and my date of birth was determined how?”

“Dr. Preiser said you were 8-10 months old…max…based on your brilliant white teeth, your weight, your demeanor.  Dr. Preiser said you were just a baby.  So, we did a little math and came up with a birthday of February 8th, 2014.  And that makes you TWO years old, today.”

“What did my weight have to do with my age?”

“That is the simple part of the guesswork.  When you were picked up in Quincy you were only 33 pounds.  And Dr. Preiser said you didn’t have much muscle…even Kathy said you needed to build some muscle.  During you weigh-ins at the vet in August, September, and October, your weight was right around 55 pounds.  A couple of weeks ago, you were 61 pounds, I don’t know where you are putting the weight.  I know you been getting a lot of exercise with all of your girlfriends – Kaya, Sophie, Erin, and Olive.”

“Can we go the woods again today, I had a great time yesterday…I like being off-leash in the woods.  What was the name of that park?  I really had fun chasing the Canada geese into the river.”

“White Pines State Park…and you were VERY good with every command I gave you – EVERY TIME – you really pay attention…GOOD BOY!”

“Thanks, but Border collies know how to pay attention.”

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CANNON BEACH, HERE WE COME! and FEEDING THE DEMONIC SCHIZOID

Nebraska, Wyoming, Idaho, Oregon...doesn't look that far on the map...

Nebraska, Wyoming, Idaho, Oregon…doesn’t look that far on the map…”Where’s Nebraska?”

“Where’s Nebraska?”

“You’re looking at the map…you have it open to Nebraska…”

“Why are we stopping in Scottsbluff…why don’t we just drive right to the beach…we ARE going to a beach, aren’t we?”

“We have three nights in Scottsbluff because I am teaching at soccer referee clinics for an AYSO region. Don’t worry, you’ll have your own bed…”

“When do we get to the beach…you said the Pacific Ocean, mountains, rain forests, sea gulls to chase, cool temperatures, bye-bye in the car, when do we get there?”

“We are meeting Mary at PDX on Friday morning, we’ll be at the beach Friday afternoon.”

“This is an OFF-LEASH beach…right?  You keep telling me I will be OFF-LEASH…”

“Yes, yes, yes…an adventure of a lifetime for a young Border collie.  And from Scottsbluff to Portland, we are taking US Route 26, through the Rocky Mountains, small towns, National Forests.  You will see Wyoming, Idaho and Oregon.  Believe me, you will LOVE this trip!”

“I’m going to miss my dog friends…Brandy, Ellie, Sophie, Olive…”

“Sorta funny that all your friends are female…just sayin’ and you let them eat your food while you just watch…you certainly are the Romeo…don’t forget to tell your followers they can follow our trip on your blog…”

“Hey, all my faithful and loyal followers…follow my trip to Oregon on my blog!”

Brandy was over the other day, she asked if she could eat my food.

Brandy was over the other day, she asked if she could eat my food…she didn’t wait for an answer…

...and then she eats the rest of my food...it better to just watch it happen...I always want to stay on her good side, right Demonic Schizoid?

…and then she eats the rest of my food…it is better to just watch it happen…I always want to stay on her good side, right Demonic Schizoid?

BCBCI QUESTIONNAIRE UPDATE -AND- SOCIAL LIFE HIGHLIGHTS

Dear Mr. Magic:

Your questionnaire is INCOMPLETE.  Please answer ALL questions by July 15, 2015.

Please provide information on your sense of hearing:

Just one look at my ears should provide all the information you need.

These ears have SUPER POWERS!!!

These ears have SUPER POWERS!!!

But My Dad wants me to provide two examples:

1)  While sleeping near the sliding door to the patio one evening, I suddenly awoke and walked fifteen feet from my sleeping position to an entry table by the front door.  My Dad saw me place my head under the table and stare at something….that SOMETHING was a quarter-sized spider walking on the carpet along the baseboard…REALLY!!!

2)  While sleeping on My Dad’s bed one morning, I suddenly awoke and ran 30 feet to the CLOSED sliding glass door that looks out onto the concrete patio…a small toad was hopping across the concrete from north to south…REALLY!!!

I have a very rich and involved social life…some examples:

Brandy loves me.  She LOVES IT when I nibble on her neck.

Brandy loves me. She LOVES IT when I nibble on her neck.

Brandy always looks off in the distance when I am nibbling her neck.

Brandy always looks off in the distance when I am nibbling her neck.

This is PATRICK, my very good friend and play-fighter.  PATRICK wears a MODPAWED dog ID tag, too.

This is PATRICK, my very good friend and play-fighter. PATRICK wears a MODPAWED dog ID tag, too.

Patrick modeling his MODPAWED ID tag, the "T-REX" model.

Patrick modeling his MODPAWED ID tag, the “T-REX” model.

This is my Uncle Ed, he babysits me sometimes and we stay up late and watch movies...he's cool!

This is my Uncle Ed, he babysits me sometimes and we stay up late and watch movies…he’s cool!

LABELED BY BRANDY and GRIPPING

“What were those words that Brandy’s Mom called me?”

“She calls you a lothario and a romeo.”

“Are these words complimentary for a Border collie?”

“Mmm…perhaps…you are VERY friendly with all the dogs you meet, especially the girls…”

“You seem a bit uncertain, what are the definitions of lothario and romeo?”

“You’re at my laptop, you do the research, you can Google both words…and put the glasses down, you don’t need glasses!”

“I like their crunchiness…”

“DOWN, put them DOWN, Magic!”

“OK, OK…l-o-t-h-a-r-i-o…

Lo·thar·i·o
lōˈTHe(ə)rēˌō,-ˈTHär-/
noun
  1. a man who behaves selfishly and irresponsibly in his sexual relationships with women.
    ME!  a lothario!?  Wait a minute, I don't even have all of my equipment!!!

    ME! a lothario!? Wait a minute, I don’t even have all of my equipment!!!

    “Mmm…what was that other word…ah…ROMEO…r-o-m-e-o…

    Ro·me·o
    ˈrōmēˌō/
    noun
    1. 1.
      an attractive, passionate male seducer or lover.
      ladies’ man, Don Juan, Casanova, Lothario, womanizer, playboy, lover,seducer, philanderer, flirt
      A Romeo?  There may be some truth to that!  Here I am with my NEW main girlfriend Kaya (#1).  She likes the

      A Romeo? There may be some truth to that! Here I am with my NEW main girlfriend Kaya (#1). She likes the “younger” types.  I hope Brandy is busy with other matters…

      Kaya (#1) likes me to chase her.  She likes it when I

      Kaya (#1) likes me to chase her. She likes it when I “GRIP” her. More about “gripping” later.

      And, here I am with Kaya (#2), a mid-afternoon dalliance.  She tired very quickly.

      And, here I am with Kaya (#2), a mid-afternoon dalliance. She tired very quickly.

      This is FLIP, another girlfriend.  No, she doesn't do

      This is FLIP, another girlfriend. No, she doesn’t do “flips” and I don’t know how she got her name. If you look carefully, I have CENSORED a certain part of her anatomy…

      Flip likes to wrestle and run into me, she is not afraid of playing rough.

      Flip likes to wrestle and run into me, she is not afraid of playing rough.

The little Shiba-Inu is KYLIE, she doesn't like when I chase her...she likes to be the chaser.  The speckled Blue-Heeler mix is Terrace...he is getting comfortable with me.

The little Shiba-Inu is KYLIE, she doesn’t like when I chase her…she likes to be the chaser. The speckled Blue-Heeler mix is Terrace…he is getting comfortable with me.

On assignment with My Dad...I get to go everywhere with him.

On assignment with My Dad…I get to go everywhere with him.

Bob, the Shar-Pei, came over for a visit.  He continues to find his way with his play activities with me.

Bob, the Shar-Pei, came over for a visit. He continues to find his way with his play activities with me.

I like to engage in playful “gripping” when I am playing with my friends.  I will pretend to bite the back and the backs of legs during chase me – chase you play, and I love to nibble on Flip’s little legs.

Have a great weekend my faithful followers!   -Magic

FORWARD OPERATING BASE QUAGMIRE and TESTING BRANDY’S LIMITS

Playing in the mud is GREAT fun, until I get hosed off.

Playing in the mud is GREAT fun, until I get hosed off.

Yawn….why up so early?  Yawn…its only 4:15!  I just gave My Dad the Border collie has a question look.  Do you know that look?  A slight head tilt, listening intently…  You’re driving your sister, Mary, her daughter and friend to the airport?  OK, let’s go for a walk and I am ready to go…I LOVE going in the car.  What?  I’m not going?  Mmmmmmph…  No room in the Scion xB this morning…luggage, three passengers.  Wait, I have an idea!  I’ll sit in between Gina and Dan, there is enough room for a slender 51 pound Border collie…right?  Mmmmmph.  Can you leave the office door open, I’m going to post on the blog?  No, I won’t chew on anything.  Yes, fine, sounds like a plan…yes, ok, ok, yes…I am going to write about the Dog Park.  Don’t forget to mention…what?  The mud?  OK…

Have any of you, my loyal readers, ever been sprayed down with a garden hose…with cold water…on a chilly day?  Three times?  Mmm…well, yes, there is more to the story.  On Thursday, My Dad took me to the Dog Park.  Sunny, mid 50’s, a slight breeze.  We stayed a pretty long time and I played with about 15 different dogs.  I noticed this muddy puddle, large enough to three or four dogs to relax in.  I was experimenting…running through this muddy puddle over and over and over.  I could hear My Dad calling to me – ‘get out of there, get out of there” – but when I am having fun at the Dog Park, I am off on another planet.  As all of you, my loyal followers, know, I am an EXPERT at enticing my fellow canines to play.  I will push you with my nose, get into the LET’S PLAY position, push you with my nose and run away, steal your ball and run away, and if you are not getting the message, I will be VERY persistent.  I found the quagmire very interesting, especially the way My Dad kept calling to me to STOP playing in the mud.  I started running to the quagmire after enticing another dog to play.  One dog in particular, a reddish Labrador female, also found the quagmire to be a great location from which to launch surprise attacks and engage in prolonged play-fighting.  During our chase-me, chase-you pursuit games, the quagmire became our base of operations; on every circuit we would run through the mud.  I would crouch in the mud, get into my “stalking wolf” position and the Labrador would slowly stalk me, this was GREAT fun!

Our play-fighting base of operations.

Our play-fighting base of operations.

Why was the quagmire so interesting?  Well, it did smell really good!

Why was the quagmire so interesting? Well, it did smell really good!

And now for part of the Dog Park, that I was not too happy with – the wash-down area.  This is a large gravel pad that has a plastic child-pool and a hose.  My Dad sprayed me off and then we went off on some more walking around the Dog Park so I could air-dry.  Did I forget about the quagmire?  Nope.  Some new dogs arrived and I went right back to the quagmire, assumed the stalking-wolf position and very soon I was all muddy again.  Before we left, I paid another visit to the wash pad followed by a leash walk around the dog park, just to dry off.  When My Dad and I arrived home, I was given ANOTHER bath, outside, the cold hose, soap, and a lot of towels.

And Brandy and I had some tussle-time, yesterday.  Brandy loves me…she lets me climb on her, kiss her ears, and bite her neck.

Tussling with Brandy.

Tussling with Brandy.

"Brandy, get that tongue back in your mouth!"

“Brandy, get that tongue back in your mouth!”

My Dad bought me a new collar.

My Dad bought me a new collar.

PLAYTIME WITH PATRICK and BLACK & WHITE SPECKLED UNDERSIDE

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OK, I’ll kill you first and then you can kill me…

Wanna play?  OK, let's go!

Wanna play? OK, let’s go!

My Dad and I went on a SECRET mission last Thursday.  We were up early (like I care), before dawn.  A bit chilly that morning and before we went on the first walk of the day, My Dad started the engine on the Scion xB, locked it up, and off we went.  I was VERY efficient in taking care of my business.  Within 15 minutes we were on our way to…I don’t know…I do know that My Dad lowers the left rear window and I love to stick my head out the window.  I love watching other cars approach and zoom by…moving things and Border collies….go figure.  Our first stop was a Police Department Headquarters in Highland Park (I can read some things, I’m not an idiot).  My Dad was out of the car about three minutes, and then we drove towards the rising sun.  (There’s a McDonald’s!!!!)  We pulled into a McDonald’s, I stayed in the Scion.  No hamburgers?  “We’ll get you some hamburgers after we finish our job.”  My Dad said we were on surveillance…very hush-hush.  But everytime some dog-walkers strolled by our vehicle, My Dad would roll down the windows and have a discussion about dogs (yes he is a wizard, isn’t he?).  And I would get to exchange pleasantries with the dogs being walked (“I’m in the car and you’re not…did you poop, yet?…you only get three walks a day?…you NEVER get to go for car rides?”)  Yes, a lot of drama and angst is exchanged between dogs during these brief encounters.  Just after 9:00 a.m., My Dad left the car for the fourth time with the two manila envelopes, and he returned without the two manila envelopes…SUCCESS! My Dad was in a good mood, he called up his brother Ed (Uncle Ed to me) and asked if we (that means My Dad and Me, Magic) could play with Patrick.  And then My Dad gave me a briefing on Patrick…He is a 70 pound Cattle Dog mix, maybe with Pittie, and sometimes he gets a little aggressive with other dogs, so, maybe we were not going to have a long visit with Patrick.  Mmm…I get along with everyone…shouldn’t be a problem.  So……we got to the house where Patrick lived and My Dad opened the rear hatchback and gave me permission to exit the Scion…My Dad has taught me to ALWAYS wait after the rear door opens…WAIT for permission…OK…and the 49 pound Border collie exits the Scion into bright, sunny weather, and temperatures in the mid 50’s.  And there is a BIG open field right here, it is like my private dog park.  And Patrick comes out…we’ve met briefly once before…I said, let’s play, and we started playing right away.  Chase me – Chase you, herding dog pursuit, knock down, get up, wrestling, rest and start over over…we had a GREAT time.  No hurting, just herding.  I took down Patrick 5 times, but we were playing.  I’d pretend to kill him and he’d pretend to kill me.  The best part?  Two McDonald’s hamburgers (plain, just the bread and the meat) for lunch.  I took a long nap after we got home.

Oh, Magic....just finish me now...

Oh, Magic….just finish me now…

This little girl is Bailey.  She was, how do I put this delicately...in season.

This little girl is Bailey. She was, how do I put this delicately…in season.

Patrick!  You believe I can't get that ball?

Patrick! You believe I can’t get that ball?

This is LILLY.  She wanted to get tough with me, but she wasn't fast enough.  I gave her a few kisses and she calmed down.

This is LILLY. She wanted to get tough with me, but she wasn’t fast enough. I gave her a few kisses and she calmed down.

My speckled underbelly appears when I lay down.

My speckled underbelly appears when I lay down.

With an inky black body and a black& white speckled underbelly, I am often referred to as gorgeous, handsome, or beautiful...really!

With an inky black body and a black & white speckled underbelly, I am often referred to as gorgeous, handsome, or beautiful…really!

ON THE HUNT at LAKEWOOD DOG PARK

Lookin for someone to play with...

Lookin’ for someone to play with…

My Dad and I were up and out early this morning.  No breakfast for My Dad at Walker Bros., thus, no sausages for me.  But we went to a new dog park  off of Fairfield Road.  I had a great time with a Huskie, an Aussie, and someone who claimed to be part Border collie.  And I had a hamburger from Culver’s after our outing.  Yum!

Ahhhhh...the vicious wolf looking for...somone to play with!

Ahhhhh…the vicious wolf looking for…someone to play with!

Chasing down my next victim, I mean, friend, to play with…

Herding a Huskie

Herding a Huskie

This guy took me down cleanly from behind...I was right back up, and then he decided to leave...sigh...

This guy took me down cleanly from behind…I was right back up, and then he decided to leave…sigh…

This young Aussie recognized me as a fellow herding dog, instantly.  I am practicing "almost biting your butt" in this action shot.

This young Aussie recognized me as a fellow herding dog, instantly. I am practicing “almost biting your butt” in this action shot.

Yes, I hear you...time to go, already?

Yes, I hear you…time to go, already?

LAUNCHING A BORDER COLLIE – AT PRAIRIE WOLF DOG PARK

BORDER COLLIE LAUNCH!

BORDER COLLIE LAUNCH!

I know…it is shocking, just SHOCKING.  You’d better be sitting down for this news, this revelation, this BIG announcement.  Drum roll, please…here it comes…F-O-R-T-I-E-S (as in the number 40) and sunny at Prairie Wolf Dog Park, today.  And Brandy invited herself, too.  Well, let’s be honest, My Dad does like her…especially her VERY intense amber eyes.  And my good buddy GRYFF was here today, too!  We recognized each other immediately and had some great wrestling and pursuit games…he is VERY fast!  I talked to Franky for a couple of minutes…we had something in common…both of us are rescued dogs, both of us are Border collies.  Franky is red with a white star on his chest.  He said he was adopted from Wright-Way Animal Rescue.  He said he was VERY happy to get out of their.  I told Franky about being picked up as a stray in Quincy, IL and how wonderful the garbage was at the truck-stop where I was taken into custody.  My Dad bought me a Culver’s hamburger for lunch.  I asked him for two, but a hamburger and a Chewnola for lunch was OK.

The first play-fighter of the day was this guy.  I take on  all comers.

The first play-fighter of the day was this guy. I take on all comers.

A quick step to the left and advantage Border collie!

A quick step to the left and advantage Border collie!

Hah!  You are out of position, sir...

Hah! You are out of position, sir…

Brandy taking a break.

Brandy taking a break.

This is the (sometimes) brave play-fighter, GRYFF.  A man's got to know his limitations...

This is the (sometimes) brave play-fighter, GRYFF. A man’s got to know his limitations…

This is FRANKY from Wright-Way Rescue...he was a Border collie and a VERY cool dude!

This is FRANKY from Wright-Way Rescue…he was a Border collie and a VERY cool dude!