MISSION TO DOWNTOWN and PUDDLES OF VOMIT

“I’m taking the train downtown this morning, will you be alright for about three hours?”

“Mmmm…not really…why don’t you bring me with?”

“Traffic will be a pain, taking the train downtown will be more relaxing, I will be back by 12:30.”

“Hah!  That is not three hours, that is more like four hours and 34 minutes.  OK, I will entertain myself, can you leave your gloves on the table, or a hat?”

“Blackmailed by a Border collie…is that how it’s going to be?  My gloves and my hats are already displaying Border collie damage…divots, gouges, nicks, pieces of fabric missing, fingers missing…”

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My Dad taught me how to remove his hat from his head…some unfortunate damages have occurred as a direct result of my quick learning abilities.

“Oh, c’mon…we’ll drive together…we can go for a walk downtown…I know you love to show me off…right?”

Easy stuff for a determined Border collie…pushing My Dad around, manipulating him, he is so ruminant-like, at times.  Yes, we are going bye-bye in the Scion xB to downtown Chicago on a “mission.”  And the traffic on the Kennedy Expressway was just fine – I love sticking my head out the window at a leisurely 17 miles per hour…sometimes 2 miles per hour.

After My Dad had successfully completed his mission, serving a court summons on a very cooperative Registered Agent, he returned to the Scion xB on the 7th floor of the parking structure.  I am still getting comfortable with elevators.  While I will no longer hesitate to board an elevator, once I am inside, I have a tendency to spread my legs and drop into a crouch – I feel a bit more steady on my feet this way.

My Dad told me that the prior weekend, the City of Chicago had dyed the Chicago River GREEN (as if it was not green enough) for St. Patrick’s day (My Dad’s birthday) and this event coupled with the Saint Patrick’s Day parade encourages a lot of humans to drink a lot of alcohol…and this results in numerous puddles of VOMIT – EVERYWHERE.  While these puddles were interesting for a Border collie, especially the pink puddles and orange puddles, My Dad kept telling “NO” in his very calm voice, and I listen VERY well!

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Wacker Drive with a view to the east…and no puddles of yucchy stuff to be seen!

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The Marina Towers “corncob,” and the curved glass of the Trump Tower in the background.  No, those people behind me were not throwing-up.

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Jumping into a raised flower bed is very easy for a Border collie.

By the way, I have a large number of canine friends who visit frequently.  I am not food-aggressive, so when my canine friends visit, I will watch them have a meal at my place.

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Brandy (a/k/a Demonic Schizoid) after enjoying MY breakfast…I just watch, why cause an argument?

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Coco and Loli visited last night.  Their Mom was out of town.  Coco is a Border collie wannabe, she runs next to me outside and barks whenever I bark.  They are official members of the Magic Fan Club.

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And, meet LOLA (Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo-La, from the song by the Kinks), she is an eight month old Shiba-Inu, who has just joined the Magic Fan Club.  Nice ears, YOU BABY!

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BACK IN CHICAGO, BACK IN THE GRIND

Another seagull, and another, I cannot catch them.  They tease me, wait until I am almost within reach of those tail feathers.  They open their wings and lift from the gentle waves, into the sky.  And then a squirrel is swimming next to them…whimper, growl, yip, yip….HUH?  WHAT?  My Dad is in the waves next to me?  What are you doing?  Here?  Oh, how embarrassing…I am dreaming and My Dad has been watching me, he is smiling, he places his gentle hand on my head.

“Let’s go to work!”

I love to go in the Scion xB to work with My Dad.  I no longer need a leash for the short walk to Scion.  The rear hatch opens and I jump right in.  I sit behind My Dad’s seat and watch everything, herd the cars, move back and forth, window to window.

Last Sunday, we drove to the South Loop area to serve paper.  My Dad was thwarted by a security guard at this exclusive high-rise, but that story has yet to be written…My Dad is very imaginative…he chose me, right?  And we went for a walk.  We found an interesting sculpture with three foxes, or are they Border collies?  The northeast corner of East 11th Street and Wabash, just west of Michigan Avenue.

My Dad thinks these are foxes...I thought Border collies.

My Dad thinks these are foxes…I thought Border collies, reading up on, and discussing herding techniques.

This is the north wall of a 1960’s something parking garage located on East 8th Street, across from the Hilton Hotel on Michigan Avenue.

East 8th Street, south of Hilton Hotel on Michigan Avenue.  I was bored.

East 8th Street, south of Hilton Hotel on Michigan Avenue. I was bored.

EXPLORING DOWNTOWN CHICAGO and THE SHAR-PEI EXPERIMENT (IF YOU CATCH ME, YOU CAN BITE ME)

The warm sun on my black fur, the smells of the city, a stroll through Grant Park...life is good.

The warm sun on my black fur, the smells of the city, a stroll through Grant Park…life is good.

Why can’t they drive in their own car?  Mmmmmmph.  I have just been informed by My Dad that I may be a bit cramped in the Scion xB this morning.  Seems My Dad, the wizard that he is, has volunteered to transport his sister, his niece, and his daughter to downtown Chicago…something about a half-marathon embarking from Diversey harbor.  What!?  There is a long walk involved?  With me?  Whew, for a moment I became concerned that, perhaps, the world stopped revolving around me and making me, The Magic Man, happy and mentally stimulated.  OK, I’m IN!  And the area behind the rear seat does have ample room to accommodate a slender Border collie…temporarily…but I would rather have my head out the window enjoying the smells of the city. OK, this calls for some sacrifice, but an adventure awaits!

Do I look like a happy Border collie?  With My Dad and his sister, Mary, in Grant Park.

Do I look like a happy Border collie? With My Dad and his sister, Mary, in Grant Park.

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Waiting for My Dad, outside of the Congress Hotel on Michigan Avenue.  He was using “the facilities.”

We walked by Federal Building twice.  They had these very nice planters with boxwood shrubs, it was very easy for a young Border collie to jump up into the planters to leave messages on the boxwoods.

We walked by Federal Building twice. They had these very nice planters with boxwood shrubs, and I found it extremely easy to lauch myself up into the planters to leave messages on the boxwoods.

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It was another cramped ride on the way home.  I couldn’t stick my head out the window.  Suddenly, I was a part of the conversation.

“Do you want to meet, Bob?”

Seems Bob is an older Shar-Pei (Chinese Fighting Dog) who has always been aggressive with other dogs.  My Dad thought that with my “magical powers of friendship.”  I would be able to convince Bob that I was a friend…not to mention my very high level of maneuverability and speed.  When we arrived at Mary’s, Bob was released from his dungeon (just kidding), and I was released from the Scion xB.  Bob ran right at me while emitting a deep growl…I am thinking, “this will be fun.”

Shar Pei trying to out maneuver the Border collie...ain't happening, dude!

Shar Pei trying to out-maneuver the Border collie…ain’t happening, dude!

A deke left, a deke right, and color me gone.  Bob could not keep up with me…I ran a tight circuit, checked my “six” every couple of seconds…I would let Bob close to within inches of me then push the afterburners FULL forward.  After five minutes, Bob was running out of gas.  He made some more attempts to run at me with his mouth open…I didn’t see any teeth…and with a half step to the left or right, I always placed Bob a little out of position.  I am all about fun, so when Bob had to take a “mark” break, I moved in for some push-and-sniff action on his back and ears…I even told him, “Hey, Bob, I just want to play, I won’t hurt you.”  And he settled down…within minutes, we were buddies, just hangin’ out together.  Bob’s Mom, Mary, was VERY surprised that we became friends so quickly!

Some "push-and-sniff" action showed Bob that I was a friend, that I did not want to hurt him.

Some “push-and-sniff” action showed Bob that I was a friend, that I did not want to hurt him.

Post pursuit and deke out session.  Bob said, "No way I can catch you, man.  Let's be friends."

Post pursuit and deke out session. Bob said, “No way I can catch you, man. Let’s be friends.”

Shar-Pei's have a tough guy persona, but a man's got to know his limitations.

Shar-Pei’s have a tough-guy persona, but a man’s got to know his limitations.

My Dad always carries a bottle of water in the Scion xB...always refreshing after a "chase-me, chase-you" session!

My Dad always carries a bottle of water in the Scion xB…always refreshing after a “chase-me, chase-you” session!