“Magic, you have an email, looks important…”
“What…something about my $23 million inheritance from Nigerian relatives, and I am required to pay a $1,000 transfer fee?”
“Ha! I can tell you are on my laptop WAY too much. Wait, you don’t respond to those scam emails…do you?”
“Mmmm…sort of, I tell them I will meet them at the airport in Lagos, give them the tail number of my Gulfstream IV, and that I will be arriving with my security force of 12 former special forces dudes…they never get back me…what a shock…so just what is this important email?
“They want you to answer some questions, looks sort of personal, something from the BCBCI. looks VERY official.”
“Yawn…OK…why don’t you wash the Scion xB, or play Scrabble, or something…let me take care of my own affairs…mmm…let me see…”
BORDER COLLIE BEHAVIORAL CONTROL INSTITUTE
COWLEY ROAD, CAMBRIDGE CB4OWS, UNITED KINGDOM
Dear Mr. Magic,
As you are well aware, ALL Border collies are required to submit to an annual behavioral review. The required form is attached and should be reviewed with ALL questions answered by midnight, 15 July 2015. Thank you for your anticipated cooperation.
Please provide information on your relationship with other canines, including Border collies:
I get along with everyone. My main girlfriends are Kaya, Brandy, and Coco. Siri is a female Border collie and I am in negotiations with her for play fighting that is a bit more aggressive. Coco is a small Maltese and I will lay down next to her so we can play. She allows me to nibble on her legs. Bob, a Shar-Pei, is another good friend. I am his first dog friend.
Please provide information on fears, anxieties, and unusual behaviors on your part:
I am not afraid of thunder. I am not afraid of fireworks. I am not afraid of any dogs…I stand my ground. I enioy going with My Dad in the Scion xB. My Dad always has water for me in the car and we frequently stop for hamburgers. I have some concerns about sewer grates, manhole covers, and drainage openings…I am very careful when walking around them.
Please provide information on your favorite chew toys:
My Dad’s sunglasses are a favorite. Bully sticks, any squeaky toys, My Dad’s shoes, watches, Sheepdog caps, his soccer referee red and yellow cards, his Samsung cell phone, anything from the recycling bin, especially Dasani water bottles. Anything that is within reach in the front seat or on the dashboard of the Scion xB
Please provide information on your current jobs that DO NOT relate to herding of animals:
I am a Therapy Dog in-training, blogging, providing play-fighting and pursuit game tactics to any canine who will listen, providing Private Detective security.
Please provide information on your relationship with moving motor vehicles:
When I was adopted in December, I really enjoyed LUNGING at passing cars. With careful and thoughtful guidance from My Dad, I have suppressed that urge (unless I am showing off to my canine friends). My Dad wants you to know that I do not care about FedEx, UPS, or U.S. Mail trucks and that I do not bark in the car…and why is that important? OK, OK, I will get back to work…
Please provide information on your obedience inclinations:
My Dad and I are always working on something different. I am VERY good at SIT, SHAKE, DOWN, UP, and minding my own business, especially when strangers and other canines walk by. The humans passing by always make comments about my good behavior (and how good-looking and handsome I am). Last week, I finally realized that a Frisbee will not hurt me and My Dad is very happy when I catch the Frisbee.
Please provide your current weight AND your weight when you moved into your current residence:
I was a skinny guy when My Dad adopted me from Great Lakes Border Collie Rescue in early December of 2014, around 33 pounds. My Dad had me weighed at the vet, last week. I was 58.2 pounds. My Dad keeps asking me where I am putting the weight.
Please provide your age:
When the vet examined me in December 2014, she thought I was just a baby, 8 to 12 months old. My Dad gave me a birthday of February 8th, 2014. I have VERY white teeth.
Please provide the circumstances of your current living situation:
I live with My Dad, I sleep wherever I want, I get 5 or 6 long walks every day, I get off-leash play with my main girlfriend, Kaya, almost every day, and I go for a lot of rides in the car.