What? Just stick to the story? Jeez, I haven’t even warmed up the keyboard and My Dad is already giving me directions, oh, sorry, GUIDANCE is what we’re calling it this afternoon. Border collies usually do not require a lot of “guidance,” Dad. Aren’t you supposed to be working on the license plate sticker? OK, OK…just trying to be funny. But don’t forget to replace the sticker. (hmmmph)
In my younger days, I loved to herd skunks. I don’t like to scare or hurt any animal, except maybe for squirrels, but skunks have this attitude about them…you know, they give you that look, and show you the pink part. “You want some of this?” Since I have a bit of sassiness in me, especially with My Dad, my feeling is that if I can run circles around skunks really fast, while barking at them, I can probably avoid getting sprayed. Although I will admit to getting sprayed six times. What? I don’t think so. My Dad (who was about to walk outside with his license plate) mumbled something about getting sprayed nine or ten times. My point (if I ever get to make it) is that what happens AFTER the skunking is much more unpleasant than getting skunked, in the first place, at least I think so. My Dad’s remedy for a skunking is a bath in tomato juice. And every time I have required a tomato juice bath, My Dad has made comments, like:
“I hope the police don’t walk in on us, this looks like a murder scene.”
“Why do you have to chase skunks?”
“You are not sleeping in bed tonight!”
“You are not going to like being pink.”
More recently, I have NOT chased skunks, although when I see them,I still get the urge. My back legs and hips just don’t work like they used to…sigh.
As all of my loyal followers know, I have been a VERY skilled Frisbee dog…V-E-R-Y skilled. My Dad and I would play Frisbee a lot. And when I go for walks now, I always grab a Frisbee on the way out, just to show everyone a bit of my past life. And, who is ever going to be afraid of a dog carrying a Frisbee?
So, we still have my Frisbee collection, but now, My Dad uses the Frisbees for another form of entertainment – with SKUNKS! With the pleasant summer weather, My Dad has been using our patio…sit outside and have a beer, have his sister (she has a Shar-Pei with control issues) over for dinner, having some neighbors over for a few beers, blah, blah, blah. I am allowed to come out on the back lawn, adjacent to the patio, to enjoy the outdoors and keep an eye on things. And every evening, right around dusk, here come the skunks, from the southeast of our location. They’re sort of like members of a gang…they have an attitude, they give you the look, they don’t care that you don’t like them. In fact, they’ll challenge you, My Dad is VERY accurate with a Frisbee – short range or at distance – and as soon as he sees the skunk gang approaching, he is up with five Frisbees, moves into the proper throwing stance and launches a Frisbee at the skunks. Do they get the hint, “get out of here, you gang-bangers?” Nope. My Dad mentioned to his sister that one of the skunks had shown him the middle claw on a front paw, boy…talk about an attitude! After five Frisbees had sailed in on them (one skunk’s tail was hit), the gang decided to move off…AFTER spraying one of the Frisbees! I asked My Dad if he was going to take a tomato juice bath…sometimes his sense of humor is a bit lacking.