ORDER OF THE BLACK EYE PATCH and COVERT ACTIONS WITH JACK BAUER

My Dad and I have had a busy week.  We drove up to Woodstock, Illinois to file the return affidavit on “The BIGAMIST” case.  On US 14, the despised brown cube – UPS- was driving next to us for a long time…see the pictures below.  Yes, I really gave it to him, out the left rear window of the Scion…I know what to do…jeez.

I am going to start a new organization, ORDER OF THE BLACK EYE PATCH.  I met with my good buddy OLIVER, yesterday, to discuss the organizational plans.  Oliver, also know as Ollie, did not like the length of the name…he wanted to shorten it up a bit to O.B.E.P … So, the two of us are in a bit of a disagreement over the logo, the brand.  Perhaps my loyal followers could provide some assistance.  My feeling on this is,  WHO is going to know what OBEP means?  Even if it is coupled with an image of a black eye patch being worn by a handsome dog…I was thinking of me…but then again, I really wouldn’t need to wear an eye patch.  But, I am WAY more handsome than Oliver…but that is between me and my loyal, wonderful, intelligent, followers.  I am envisioning T-Shirts, hats, decals all with the slogan and my picture – ORDER OF THE BLACK EYE PATCH.  What?  Huh?  You’re kidding?  My Dad just made a poorly-timed comment about infringing on the trademark of the Oakland Raiders and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.  I don’t think so…are those two teams made up of dogs (?), all of them with black eye patches…duh.  Dad, you stick to your investigative work, and let me handle the marketing for my entrepreneurial spirit.  So, Oliver (I never call him Ollie, he does not like that name) and I were having a serious discussion about the big plans for the ORDER OF THE BLACK EYE PATCH and who comes out of his apartment with his Mom, Danielle?  Mr. Covert, Mr. Spy, Mr. Fighting the Forces of Evil, Mr. Mysterious…the 12 pound Jack Bauer.  Talk  talk  talk  talk  talk.  Jack!  Take a breath…  Ahhh, no…you will not allowed to be a member of ORDER OF THE BLACK EYE PATCH.  You will purchase a hat, a decal, and a t-shirt?  Mmmm….perhaps we’ll consider an honorary membership.  By the way, Jack Bauer (that is his real name) is a Pomegranate.  What?  Spell that…oh, ok.  OK, My Dad corrected me, Jack Bauer is a Pomeranian.  Jack is, how do I put this diplomatically, delusional?  He is always telling me about his (covert) adventures (Right, Jack) as an agent for:  THE AGENCY FOR FIGHTING THE FORCES OF EVIL.  Sounds a bit contrived, but I see potential for T-Shirts, hats and a decal.  Jack, Jack…wait up!

UPS...I see you!

UPS…I see you!

The DESPISED cube...UPS...

The DESPISED cube…UPS…

My buddy OLIVER, I bet you get the ORDER OF THE BLACK EYE PATCH, now...right?

My buddy OLIVER, I bet you get the ORDER OF THE BLACK EYE PATCH, now…right? or is it left?

Me with the delusional super-sleuth JACK BAUER, and his very tolerant Mom, Danielle.

Me with the delusional super-sleuth JACK BAUER, and his very tolerant Mom, Danielle.

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10 thoughts on “ORDER OF THE BLACK EYE PATCH and COVERT ACTIONS WITH JACK BAUER

  1. “The Order of the black patch sounds so…James Bond-ish.  Wow!   I’d buy a t-shirt and tell my dog-care-givers*

    note -not owners.  One doesn’t really OWN a dog.  One loves and cares for a dog. 

         Keep barking at the UPS truck.  and be good to nice people

     

    Virginia

     

    • After consultation with Oliver, Jack Bauer, and my other minions, we have decided to enact legislation that would allow dogs with redundant eye patches (one over each eye) full membership benefits. Are you satisfied?
      -Cody

  2. See! What did I tell everyone? Border collies have a bit of “smarty-pants” in each of their personalities. Not saying that’s a bad thing. We may add special collars. Submit a formal written request on Form BC60456 for any other brilliant ideas! -Cody

  3. File the appropriate paperwork (in quadruplicate) and the organization will consider your request. And, don’t forget a recent photo. Bribes are accepted to “speed-up” the process!

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