BORDER COLLIE POLITICKING

Let’s take a random sampling of things that I (a Border collie who is a Certified Therapy Dog) like and look forward to:  Cookies, a BusyBone (registered trademark), some attention, a car ride, a pet, a scratch, a hamburger on a bun, barking at delivery trucks, barking at those trucks that carry new automobiles, barking when I drive UNDER a bridge, barking when I drive OVER a bridge, barking when I see a railroad crossing, barking when I see a Mail Truck (please do not start believing that I bark too much, although My Dad does wear orange ear plugs when he is driving – REALLY), playing with a Frisbee, playing with a squeaky toy, just playing….blah, blah, blah…I warned you that Border collies are VERY chatty.  Anyway…the point is that I can communicate my needs, wants, and desires with a variety of politicking moves that most (not all) U.S. politicians would be fearful of trying.  Let’s take a look at some of my proven politicking skills and I will even provide examples!

Ears up, head tilted, giving you “the eye” – I use this tactic VERY successfully with Dale, one of the  maintenance guys employed by the complex.  He too drives a Scion xB, although it is a bit older than my Dad’s xB and it is silver.  I know Dale’s xB, and when I am out on a (off-leash) walk with my Dad, Dale will always stop to say Hi…and I know that Dale carries treats in his car.  Here is where the politicking comes in – moving from one treat to MULTIPLE treats.  After the first treat, I activate my politicking….ears up, head tilted, moving my front paws up and down, a bit of snorting under my breath, a lot of eye contact is important (you WILL bend to my willpower).  I can score an extra two to four treats – easy stuff!

Head-butting – This move works best when I want to go for a walk (My Dad uses the term “hitting the washroom”).  My Dad is usually in a sitting position for move….I don’t want to knock him over.  I walk towards my Dad, or whoever is baby sitting me, put my head down and just keep going.  A s-l-o-w, insistent walk is required – works every time.

Nuzzling with the muzzle – My first question with these terms is, “Why don’t they call it MUZZLING?”  Think about it.  Anyway, when I want attention or to just be petted, or have a conversation, I use this tactic called PERSISTENT MUZZLING (I’ll call it whatever I want).  This works really well when I am laying to next to My Dad in bed – just before lights out.  There is no reason he can’t hold his book with the left hand and pet my head with the right hand.

Paw on hand or arm – If you have been following my blog and reading all of the stories, you will remember CHILDREN READING TO ME.  Even after I lay across Skaterdude’s lap, on my back, he would not acknowledge my presence.  Desperate times call for desperate measures is what I say.  I placed my paw (very gently and delicately) on Skaterdude’s forearm.  But one must be delicate with that tactic – you don’t want to come across like some inconsiderate clodhopper.

Ears up, head tilted, giving eye and barking – Boy talk about pulling out all of the stops….wake-UP…hello, anyone home?  If this doesn’t get you to bend to my will….

Herding – I RARELY pull this out of my skill set bag of tricks.  I use it ONLY with My Dad because everyone else may find it irritating.  My Dad knows he is required to bring SOMETHING with him for every walk.  This is a must.  After all is said and done with going out for a walk, before we make that 180 degree turn to head for home, I NEED A JOB!  What do I like to carry home…Gator, my two-tone squeaky toy.  A Frisbee.  A tennis ball.  My Dad’s glove (if he forgot to bring a REAL toy).  And what kind of herding, My Dad calls it HINDERING, is activated?  I get in front of you and stop…I get in front of you and walk backwards S-L-O-W-L-Y…I get in front of you and position myself diagonally across your path.  Herding, hindering…whatever you want to call it, is also very effective when groceries are being unloaded.  

 

Politicking Image

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